Eudaimonia: A Contented State of Being Happy and Healthy and Prosperous

Do you ever have days that are so busy that they seem to be over before they even begin. I recently had one of those days, and I, seriously, went to bed in the same outfit that I had woke up in. I remember asking myself, "Is this really what life is all about? Is life just an endless amount of things to get done? Days that go by in a blur of bussy-ness, and then end, unintentionally passed out on the couch. I was sick of all the guilt and uneasiness I felt. As a mother of 3, life can be extremely busy. Normal, everyday tasks such as trying to get my work outs scheduled seemed nearly impossible. But that's when the guilt crept in because I felt morally torn between the little time I had to spend with my family or my over all health and wellness. The uneasiness showed up in all aspects of my life. When I got too busy with work I felt guilty that I wasn't spending enough "quality" time with my kids. Heck, then throw in trying to find alone time with my husband. Between all of life's chores and caring for the children, this all seemed to be, pretty much, impossible. The thought of taking what little time I could find for myself, instead of using it elsewhere, brought on a sense of guilt. As all you mothers can relate, after getting everything I need done, I was lucky if I was able to wash my hair. So I found myself asking, is life just an endless amount of things to get done? I refused to believe this was it. So the next morning I went in search of a solution to find joy in even my craziest of days. It seems that the the older I get the faster my days pass me by. 

People always ask me how I am able to get everything I get done in a day. Honestly, I don't get everything done. I will never get everything I want to get done in my days, but what matters is that I attempt. Doing what I can, when I can, and setting high expectations, puts me WAY further ahead than if I procrastinate just because I know it's going to be a struggle to get all these things finished. The truth is, life is far too short. I want to get the most out of my life. So I went in search of how to find joy in the chaos of being so busy.

It was then when I found a video by Tai Lopez, where he explains about integrating your life. I've put it into play in my life and found it to be very beneficial. The theory behind it is to stop compartmentalizing your life and integrate it. Who made the rule that we had to set aside specific times to work out, to spend time with our kids, to go on date nights, to prepare meals, to dedicate to self development, to go to church on Sundays etc... Don't get me wrong, I understand that all these things are very important and need to get done. But if you schedule out specific times and places for each thing in your life then you are isolating your potential for happiness.

Why can't we integrate our life. I love the concept of making every aspect of my life part of who I am. I never understood why people say not to work with friends and family. Why not surround yourself, everyday, with the people you enjoy being around? Some of my favourite jobs were because of the people I was surrounded by. I have begun to integrate many things in my life. I often, work out with my children so that I'm spending quality time with my kids while taking care of my own over-all health, instead of leaving them for hours everyday to go a class.  I go for walks while listening to an audio-book (sometimes I actually read while walking). I cook supper with my husband as a date night, or with my kids as hang-out time. Why does it matter what your doing for date night, isn't it about the time spent with that person. One of Jason's and my favourite things to do together is cook. At night we sit together, he reads to me while I fold laundry. These are the times I cherish with my husband. I long for time with him not the things we are doing. 

So I challenge you guys to try changing your perspective around compartmentalizing your life. Personally, this has allowed me to bring joy to every aspect of my life. I hope you choose to bring it to yours. In the comment section below, I would love to hear how you integrate things in your life.

Finding Fulfillment in a Relationship

First off, I'm not claiming to be a relationship counsellor, I'm just talking, here, from my personal experience. I was listening to an audio book by Tai Lopez today, and he said something that resonated with me. "The best person to argue anything, is someone who has tried everything."

I was raised in a broken home, my parents separated when I was very young and, I too, failed at my first serious, to-be-forever, relationship. So my track record of holding a healthy relationship from an outsiders point of view was definitely against me. I had two ways to go about seeing my future in a relationship. I could have decided to throw my hands up and say, "Universe, your right!  I'm doomed and cursed when it comes to finding a loving, healthy relationship. I guess it isn't in the cards for me" or I could pick myself up, dust myself off and refuse to believe what is supposedly "wrote out" for me and change. Charles Darwin once said "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change."  I could have allowed my, not-so-good experiences run the way my life was going to pan out, but instead I chose to see it as a lack of knowledge, and that every failure is just a little more wisdom. The answer was to educate myself on what a healthy relationship is. To be good at anything in life takes knowledge and work, why would a relationship, be any different.

I think relationships are among the hardest things we do everyday because real emotions are involved. So when it came to me, I felt I didn't have the right tools in my tool box to have that healthy thriving relationship. Through extensively educating myself on what makes a relationship last, I was surprised to find out that it wasn't about what the other person did for me but what I did for them. What a concept! lol. Relationships aren't about you. They're not about how much you get from a relationship, but how much you bring to it. My happiness doesn't lie on my husbands shoulders, and why would I want it to. I would prefer to have my happiness in my control. If you go back to the beginning of a relationship, it wasn't about what they did for you, but how it made you feel, to do good by them. You would do anything for that certain someone. You would get all prettied up for every date, massage them because you felt like it, buy them gifts, heck you'd even put on your best looking pj's before bed. In turn, it lit up your own life. My happiness, in my relationship comes from what I do to make my husband happy and to better our relationship. Don't get me wrong, my relationship with my husband, like all relationships, has it's downs, but we made a promise to each other that we would find our balance within ourselves, and to never allow things to go so far, where resentment becomes an issue.

Take full responsibility of your own actions! Take the victim out of the picture. In a loving relationship there are no victims. You are in control of your own happiness. People get in the habit of making relationships a competition, one where the people involved are making tallies of who's doing more or less of certain things. I see this mindset as a recipe for disaster. It's not a competition or a game. If happiness and love is what you're in search of, I've said it once and I'll say it again, your happiness comes from you. No one can give it to you. If you are in a relationship, where you're unhappy, adapt. What I mean by this is stop playing the victim and pointing the finger. Look at your own action first and see where you can change your thoughts around the situation. Respect your partner's opinion. This doesn't mean you always agree. There is a big difference in respecting one's opinion and being a walk on. Know the difference between devaluing yourself and respecting others in their views. It's very important that this be a mutual effort and that your partner, in return, should respect your views.

Something that took me a long time to realize was that, a persons argument is just as right in their minds, as yours is to you. Communicate concerns and feelings with your partner, before the issue becomes bigger than it should be. Keeping things internal will surely lead to resentment. Understand that no human is static. We are constantly changing and evolving. I believe that a loving healthy relationship comes when you commit to, evolving, adapting and communicating with each other. With your main focus being love and happiness, because let's face it, that all life's about.  

If any of you are wondering, the photo's above are from mine and Jason's engagement photo shoot 5 years ago (hence the brown hair lol) , done by my VERY talented and good friend Maria Lang. I just had to pull them out again because she was able to capture the love between Jason and I sooooo perfectly. To Jason the love of my life, when you read this, and I know you will ;) every day that goes by I love you more than the last, I feel sooo lucky to spend the rest of my life with you!!! xoxoxo

Photo Credit @maria_lang  www.marialangstudio.com